My Story - Bad "B" Movie- Part 2

Four years into my plan, nothing resembled what I had envisioned. But I was still working on keeping my plan alive. The legal process came to a conclusion in July of ’06 after my graduation from seminary and I decided I would go back to work following Christmas. First, I would take some time to rest and clear my head a little.

Our oldest son had graduated Christmas '05 and this year, just before Christmas '06, he had secured the “perfect” job for him. We were all so excited. It was like things were beginning to come together for us. I was eager to get on with my “own” life.

Elliot’s girlfriend was now dating our other son’s very best friend. They had our blessing (“as long as neither one of you hurts the other”). They had come for the weekend. It was a 74 degree January Sunday and they hopped in Elliot’s Jeep, with the top down (something which made them all feel closer to E), to come meet us for lunch, following church. As we pulled in the parking lot of the restaurant, we received a phone call. There had been an accident. We would later find out, they had been run off the road and went down a 130 foot embankment. The man left the scene, stopped to change his flat a few miles down the road, told an officer there had been an accident and was never charged. The DA made that decision...more forgiveness to work on.

Two were life-flighted to the closest trauma center and our precious Allison had not made it. Our son’s friend walked out of the hospital the next day but we would remain there for twenty three days and over 11 surgeries (we lost count at some point). Here it was, January, and I was once again caught in the midst of a horrific, traumatic event. Talk about the walking numb! I kept telling people, we were walking around in a bad “B” movie which no one could ever even think of to write! Twenty three days later, we left the Trauma Burn Unit and brought our son home. Within a few weeks, he had learned to change his own bandages, drive, moved into his own apartment, and was back at work. He was a miracle!

I was done with planning to go back to work. It seemed like every goal I set for returning, something traumatic would get in the way.

How many times, in the last seven years, have I cried out to God, “What do you want from me?” “What is your will for me?” I’ve screamed. I’ve wept. I’ve stomped my feet. I’ve read Job over and over again. But that hasn’t been the sum of my existence!

I have laughed. I have sung. I have rejoiced. I have been encouraged. I have been filled with His love and grace in ways too numerous to count. I have heard over and over, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Today, I’m not making plans to go back to work. I am making myself available. I worry about money, there are things we would like to do that we can’t. Building a house is expensive, but couple that with trauma and sound decision making goes out the window! I would be remiss, if I didn’t say, God has provided all that we have needed when we have needed it throughout the process! Yes, even forgiveness for the one who took my son’s life, realization that had we built our home as scheduled, our son would have lived in it and it would have been a sad reminder of what was lost as opposed to a place of healing, and so, so much more.

As we excitedly prepare for our son, to move , as his career progresses and he begins a new and fresh chapter of his life, we look towards that still small voice that is saying, “you are getting to the other side of this.” I have begun to do small things, small things that He has called me to do. Not my plans, but His plans. My heart begins to lift and there is an excitement brewing. Where it leads, I have no idea, but through it all, I have learned one thing loud and clear, it’s not about what I want, or my plans. It is about listening, depending and obedience. I used to think that was a scary way to live. But the one thing this “bad B movie” has taught me…it’s the only way to live. There are some redeeming qualities to bad "B" movies!

And as always…to GOD be the glory!

Lynn